Dress for success…

 Posted by at 10:29 am  1 Response »
May 222010
 

I have a new uniform, it is orange, it is waaaay short, and I always forget that I am way tall… I thought my Camaro Harem Uniform was short… Nope, this, my friends are the shortest uniform I have ever worn, but then I can’t say that I care that much.

Vagine Regime boutfit at ECE 2009 (Photo by Jules Doyle)

I sort of fuss a little about my boutfit, but when it comes down to it, a pair of hotpants, shiny or not will cut it. I care about if I can skate in it or not. For Rat City’s All-stars I would just wear black skorts. But I have also worn a strapless dress as a Glamazon, a pair of panties with a bloody unicorn for Rain of Terror (Rat City’s B-team) and VR. I have been skating with an 80’s prom dress with Jet City and totally been sporting a tutu for both Jet City and Team Legit. For team Legit it only lasted 4 jams, and then the officials asked me to take it off, my jammer was apparently a little too grabby. But hey, I got to lay on the floor and get undressed on the pivot line by my line-up runner. So Sheeza Brickhouse can from now and on always say she has ripped my clothes off.

Black and white scrimmage... what up

For all of us we have something that we find special and important about our boutfits, some girls will never wear fishnets, some girls will always wear something that is written on their ass. I always (almost always) wear different socks. This has made the Mayhem (my current team) uniform a problem, since American Apparel doesn’t carry orange socks… and I can only skate in AA socks. I know, it is weird, but I guess I am a hipster or something… and gosh, now when laying in bed at my house I start to wonder, what the f**k am I going to wear UNDER my uniform. Hotpant? Something frilly? Black? Orange? White? Anything? Ugh!

Well, I guess I will figure that out after my hash brown brunch and manicure, I always get manicures to get my fingers team appropriate on game day… yepp… that’s me! My nails will look better than Suzy Hotrods… MOHAHAHahahaha Queens of pain, I will bring the pain…

What? This is NOT the prom??

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May 132010
 

I don’t do things in moderation, I just don’t. I have tried, but I still end up challenging myself to challenges that might or might not be totally crazy and undoable, the past few months I told others and myself that I was going to make the Gotham all-stars, that I was going to win an arm-off against Suzy Hotrod from Gotham (se picture) and win a tan-off against Sunshine Skate from Philly, who is a Latina… So I did make the Gotham All-stars, the other two things are still to be determined… oh and I also would really like to date Psychobabble (or you know maybe just hold hands), but I guess I settle for things that might be a little more in my range. (as in mentioned arm-offs and tan-offs )

Suzy Hotrod - arm-off is coming up...

I really hate to lose, not in the obvious ‘oh I am so mad I lost’ kind of way, I will just silently work out, practice listen and one day just sneak up on my target and go for the kill. Me and an old roomie used to compete in everything, Trivial Pursuit and video games were our usual objects to obsess over. I must say I mastered Mario Cart after that winter, and knew every Trivial Pursuit question by heart. Complaining never gotten anyone anywhere, but it has its’ charm at times, and I am willing to admit that I submit to complain at times. Like right now I have a couple of giant bruises, my shoulder is a little out of wonk and my ankle is disagreeing with me and skating. But when it comes down to it all, it is about to know your own body and push it a little more, but not too much, to recognize when you are in serious pain, or when it is really just regular derby pain. Because NEWSFLASH, derby is a full contact sport, your body will hit the ground numerous times, and if it doesn’t ever hit the ground, you are probably either magical (I am not opposed to that), not trying hard enough or just not really playing derby. And it will not only hit the ground, other girls will do their best to knock you around with hip checks, sternum blocks and shoulder checks, most of them will be legal, but at times you will grow accustomed to getting your knees wiped out by a low block or your head rattled by a high block. In all fairness, it will happen. Your body will slowly adjust to being covered in bruises, swollen knees, ankles and whatever happens to be your weak spot… You just have to identify your weak spot, and start working the muscles up around it, if you have a bad ankle, nurse it with love and pain, make sure it gets to rest, but also make sure that it get worked out, that the small little muscles in it builds up so it will become a part of your fierce derby body…

Well, enough about me ranting, I have a spray-tan appointment and a date with the gym… ehhh ohhh and all-star practice tomorrow…

Working out arms and tanning at the same time....

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