Jun 092010
 

In Portland February 2009

When I started skating I almost only jammed, I was told at boot camp that I would be a jammer and since I barley knew what a jammer was, I googled it and then went with it. I was a very very sucky blocker, but I jammed, I was one of the fastest skaters on Jet City after a year, and I was also quite determined. So I skated, skated, skated and mostly jammed. And I didn’t particularly love it, but I didn’t hate it, it was what I did, I was a jammer, I scored grand slams and I helped my team. At some point the pressure just got to high, I became that jammer that everyone chanted ‘grand slam, grand slam, grand slam’ for, and I buckled under pressure and I started to feel anxiety every time I slid the star over my helmet.

I got picked up by Rat City, and my jamming time started to diminish at the same rate as my blocking got better and better, I enjoyed killing the other jammer. I realized that I was a very effective blocker, and I did good, I got good feedback on blocking, maybe because people saw me as a jammer that suprised them with blocking skills. I was still expected to go out and jam, and score, score, score when I did, no matter what my pack looked like. I held myself to really high standards, and when i couldn’t live up to them, I avoided jamming even more. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t doing good, I just wasn’t doing as good as I felt I should.

Sockit Wenches vs. Grave Danger 2009

Sockit Wenches vs. Grave Danger 2009

I still enjoyed jamming, but my jammer anxiety was just out of hands, and I felt like I was needed more as a blocker. And about the same time as my second home-season came to an end and I was committed to the travel team fulltime, I was never really jamming. The travel team  never practiced me jamming and I never stood up voluntarily to jam, I had turned into a blocker over the course of three months.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do love jamming, I think it is fun, and I have slowly been trying to get back into it. My current team needs me to jam, and I do it, because I have to. But I still stand on the line questioning myself, always being nervous that I will not live up to expectations. Nowadays I am in many times more effective as a blocker, I am a jammer-killer, I have awareness on the floor and can help my more rookie skaters more on the floor than with a star on my head. I can try to make out jammer look great but I have to work on my offensive blocking, I am not a whipper, but then the question is, am I a jammer??
I can score, I can pass, I do get lead jammer at times, I still hesitate to jam, and only I am the person that can remove the mental block I have for jamming… and I am working on it… but it is hard when you line up against Bonnie Thunders or Suzy Hotrod with Beyonslay or Donna Matrix in the pack, just waiting to kill, kill, kill you…

Isn’t derby just great so say!?

And I have already started my plan on how to get into better jammer shape… please follow and give me happy feed-back!

Swede Hurt Goes Fit blogspot dot com

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Dress for success…

 Posted by at 10:29 am  1 Response »
May 222010
 

I have a new uniform, it is orange, it is waaaay short, and I always forget that I am way tall… I thought my Camaro Harem Uniform was short… Nope, this, my friends are the shortest uniform I have ever worn, but then I can’t say that I care that much.

Vagine Regime boutfit at ECE 2009 (Photo by Jules Doyle)

I sort of fuss a little about my boutfit, but when it comes down to it, a pair of hotpants, shiny or not will cut it. I care about if I can skate in it or not. For Rat City’s All-stars I would just wear black skorts. But I have also worn a strapless dress as a Glamazon, a pair of panties with a bloody unicorn for Rain of Terror (Rat City’s B-team) and VR. I have been skating with an 80’s prom dress with Jet City and totally been sporting a tutu for both Jet City and Team Legit. For team Legit it only lasted 4 jams, and then the officials asked me to take it off, my jammer was apparently a little too grabby. But hey, I got to lay on the floor and get undressed on the pivot line by my line-up runner. So Sheeza Brickhouse can from now and on always say she has ripped my clothes off.

Black and white scrimmage... what up

For all of us we have something that we find special and important about our boutfits, some girls will never wear fishnets, some girls will always wear something that is written on their ass. I always (almost always) wear different socks. This has made the Mayhem (my current team) uniform a problem, since American Apparel doesn’t carry orange socks… and I can only skate in AA socks. I know, it is weird, but I guess I am a hipster or something… and gosh, now when laying in bed at my house I start to wonder, what the f**k am I going to wear UNDER my uniform. Hotpant? Something frilly? Black? Orange? White? Anything? Ugh!

Well, I guess I will figure that out after my hash brown brunch and manicure, I always get manicures to get my fingers team appropriate on game day… yepp… that’s me! My nails will look better than Suzy Hotrods… MOHAHAHahahaha Queens of pain, I will bring the pain…

What? This is NOT the prom??

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May 152010
 

Psycobabble at Western Regionals (photo by Jules Doyle)

I love derby so much, I love to skate, I love to hit, stop, go, run, jam, block… the whole package. I also love the women that play derby, but there are a couple of skaters where their skating, their awareness on the track and sometimes off the track just have captivated my heart and I have formed a derby crush on them. A desire to get to know them better, to skate with them, to just be someone that they want to skate with.

So I have had a few, I think my first real derby crush was on Summer Assault, I saw her play in a Rat City game and I thought she was just incredible, so at RollerCon that summer I walked up to her and told her she was amazing and that I had a derby crush on her. We ended up becoming real good friends, and I have learned a lot from her. I will unwillingly admit that my second derby crush probably was Ann R. Kissed, the woman is insane, both on and off the track, playing with and against her also taught me a lot, and I love the girl, even if she might be a little crazy. But who am I to judge crazy?? So time after time I had some mini derby crushes, Demanda Riot, Malice with Chains, Miss Fortune, Trish the Dish, Jackie Daniels, Castro and so on… yeah…

At Battle of the Bank I met Krissy Krash, and it was love first sight, and we are still heavily involved in our derby crush, I adore to skate with her, I love to skate against her, I just love to derby with her, but I have to be honest I also have a huge derby crush on Blood Clottia, I think there is something about her shy smile and awesome moves on the track. Just the way she blocks or her agility, it is very intriguing. She might also think I am insane… she might be right…

Summer jamming against Bravo, Sockit Wenches vs. DLF, Key Arena 2009 (photo by Jules Doyle)

But for all you who know me, you all know that my current and greatest derby crush is on Psychobabble from Rocky mountain, her sister is awesome and amazing in all ways, but when Psycho is on the track, I just can’t stop staring in awe at her. She is just so fantastic, I know, I know, she is just human, she paints her face like the Joker, but still, I just am in love, my crush is very serious. She skates like a maniac; she is so crazy, yet refined and precise. Her eyes twinkles when she skates and still they have a determination ‘KILL THAT JAMMER’. I probably could go on and on about how she just hit the toe stops on the right time, how she taunts the jammer, how she moves on the track like her skates were magic, but I think I probably just would start to sound silly and maybe a little stalkerish. Oh, and I just realized the other day when I was practicing that I might have a derby crush on Suzy Hotrod, but damn that girl is funny!

So who is your derby crush?

Wile and Ann R. Kissed playing Windy City (photo by Jules Doyle)

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Derby in Sweden

 Posted by at 9:15 pm  3 Responses »
Apr 162010
 

Kitty Cleavage from STDR in London to learn more about roller derby when Texas came to play London.

I spent the past week in Sweden and I had the opportunity to appear in Swedish Morning TV to talk about roller derby together with the president of Stockholm Roller Derby, Bess Irv Cold. The morning hostess borrowed a pair of bedazzled R3’s (courtesy of Jender Bender) and I was slightly surprised she did not fall on her face and seriously harm herself. Before we went on air I spent some time flirting with the band was featured in the morning show. Ah… life as a derby girl is so taxing sometimes, it was about 8 am, but it is never too early to impress.
The following day I got to guest coach Stockholm who mostly have very new skaters, but they are all so excited they are on skates and about roller derby. I got to blow the coaching whistle, boss them around and tell them a hundred times that they get extra credits for falling. (for some reason no one took this really serious, I WAS SERIOUS, falling IS good for you, it teaches you to get up real fast) The next day I took a train down to Malmö to visit the brand new league there.

Coming back to Sweden and see the girls working hard to find a place to skate, find gear, find someone to teach them the basic rules and even find enough girls to make up a team. And they do it all with smiles, giggles and beers in their hands make me remember why I loved derby from the first min. Those girls love derby for what derby is, they take every little piece of information and squeeze it, turn it upside down, jab at it, and ask more questions. They make derby their own, they love every little piece of what derby is and is becoming. They show up to practice in newly bought R3’s, in duct taped skates from the 70’s that someone found at a garage sale. Their pads are fresh out of boxes shipped from US or stolen/borrowed from a brother, sister or boyfriend. Everyone just trying figure out what derby is, how it is played, what to wear, what wheels that work in rented middle school gyms.

Sweden made me realize how blessed I am, that I am a part of a sport that women allover the world, not only US love and work so hard to get recognized. Derby makes me smile multiple times a day. And when it frustrates me, I just think of how much happiness it has brought me and all the friends I have made. Because Roller derby is something that is in your face, and I like to keep it there, with or without fishnets, it is what we all make it to be!

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