Full of Meh!

 Posted by at 8:00 am  6 Responses »
May 182010

It's MY party Bitch!

I’ve been staring at a blank computer screen for over an hour now and can’t think of a single inspiring, quotable thing to say.  Mainly because I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for days now and I really just feel like bitching a little bit.  So, since this is my diary, and I can cry if I want to, I’m going to do just that.

I’m fucking exhausted.  Every second of my life is planned and scheduled.  And I’m so sick of it.  I want to sleep in and get up at noon.  And I want to sit around drinking coffee in my bathrobe, reading the newspaper.  I have a pool that I’ve only been able to get in twice so far since the weather warmed up.

I feel like that little kid who’s stuck indoors, finishing his homework and staring out the window at all of his friends playing stick ball in the street.  I’d love to go on outdoor afternoon skates every Sunday afternoon.  I want to skate the fishbowl in Hammond sometime.  And I want to spend a Wednesday night at Sciara’s pummeling my teammates and fine tuning my blocking.  Every practice I go to I see the Capitol Offenders narrowing the gap between the A Team and the B Team.  It pisses me off, it makes me nervous and it fills me to the brim with envy.

The Green-Eyed Monster

It also drives me to work my ASS off at practices these days.  Granted, I should have been working my ass off since I started, but nothing drives you like fear sometimes.  I’m not losing my spot on that roster!  Since my availability is limited, I’ve got to really start making the most of the time I have.  So, starting today, ladies, it’s take no prisoners.  I’m going to hit everything that moves!  If you’re in striking distance, I’m going to do my best to take you down. And please don’t take it personally if I happen to knock you on your ass!  The only thing YOU’VE done to deserve it, is gotten better!  ; )

Photo Credits:  fotoJENica a/k/a Jenny Romney and http://lovethatfeeling.com/blog/its-not-easy-bein-green/

May 072010

Fun facts for Regular Readers:

Toothbrushes I currently call mine: 5

Number of locations where these toothbrushes reside: 5.

Item I carry with me at all times these days: mascara.

Priorities? Erhm…

Moving on.

People, I’ve been super sick for about five days now, and I might as well just lay that out right away, so you’ll know why this post I’m launching into turns out so scattered and crazy-sounding. I’ve been coughing like a madwoman, ripping huge hacks out of my increasingly sore throat, my nose has been pouring like goddamn Niagara, I’ve been feverish and consequently cranky, I’ve been sleepless and consequently depressed. I’ve been laying in bed like a loser and weeping like a little kid, which of course has aggravated my stupid, chronically bad neck.

Worst of all, I can’t seem to STOP. WHINING.

Gold pills to "increase your self-worth!"

But actually, as of yesterday, things started looking up. I made a flurry of doctor’s appointments, including my first with a chiropractor (oh my, I’m a little in love with that man now), and a visit to my totally generous ear, nose, and throat (ENT) guy, who graced me with two steroid shots, some magic decongesting nasal spray, and two antibiotic prescriptions (man, he’s easy). I also have plans for a dental cleaning and a therapist appointment (I know, right? what took so long?). I’m getting myself together, here.

Last night’s RSRD practice, however, was a little bit of a setback, similar to the setback I experienced

The bench is pretty comfy when you're not in a bout

during our last bout. I’d gotten those steroid shots and was feeling FAN-EFFING-TASTIC! Until I realized that fake, drugged fan-tastic doesn’t really translate into, like, actual energy. By midway through practice, I was hacking and feverish again, and my back started spasming in a strange, serious way, in a spot where I’ve never had trouble before (yeah, I know – familiar story, post-chiropractor-visit). So. Where I would usually push myself through, I actually sat down. I put my ass on the bench and just watched my girls for the rest of practice. I felt guilty, like I really should have been out there, since my leg wasn’t broken or anything, but I think just sitting back for a minute was really good for me. For one thing, I stopped thinking about my own performance and got to check out and appreciate everyone else (especially useful since I pivot sometimes). The following is a list of things I learned. Actually, I already knew all these things, but each of them was reinforced last night, in a serious way.

  1. My girls are TOUGH BITCHES. Oh my god, we had so many incidents last night – a busted knee, a hurt shoulder, a banged head. Why? Because we’re injury-prone? Hell, no. Because RSRD doesn’t let up. RSRD beats on whoever’s there – even if it’s ourselves –so we can get better and better and eventually just totally dominate the Gulf Coast. Yeah, I said it. I’ll be watching from up North and can’t wait to see it happen.
  2. Our newer girls ROCK. The group I’m talking about here is the Capitol Offenders, our newly-christened team of new-but-not-freshmeat skaters who constitute what might be called a “B-team” on other leagues. This group includes a lot of post-Whip It people who joined us in or around October 2009, and so many of them have progressed at lightning speed. It’s a little frightening, actually. All of us senior skaters should be well aware that we need to step it up to be sure we keep our slots on the travel roster.
  3. Bad attitudes are surmountable. So, people were, let’s say, a bit cranky in general, at the beginning of practice (I contributed, I admit). I don’t think anyone would argue with me on this one. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with us as a group, nor do I know why we so often bring our pouty faces to practice on the same night. However, eventually everything shaped up, I think, and scrimmaging at the end of practice seemed to go pretty well and be quite productive.
  4. Sitting back and just watching some derby, and not having to sweat, strain, hit the floor, and yell constantly is actually really, really, seductively, awesome. Like really. I can’t let myself think that sitting out again is an option, because I can see now why it’s so tempting. So, I’m not suggesting that you let yourself wimp out during practice when really, you could be skating, but if you have the opportunity to just watch your team sometime, take it. You get that little bursting-with-pride feeling in the chest, and you get to know your teammates’ styles of play a bit better. Next weekend, Capitol Offenders will play Lafayette, LA’s Acadiana Good Times Rollers, and I can’t wait to sit back with a beer and cheer them on.

Photo Credits: geekologie.com, The Sun Star