Oct 172013
Hey, What's Going On Here?

Well, derbyland, it’s been a while. Probably it’s been so long that you stopped even wondering what happened to me. That’s cool. I’ve been busy, too. What you are looking at right now is the archive for the website formerly known as Live Derby Girls. There’s nothing new here. But there will be. I started Live Derby Girls back in 2009, when I looked like that picture up there and minor penalties were a thing. I chronicled my adventures through the world of roller derby and a lot of talented derby writers joined me. It was rad. Live Derby Girls was, I think, the smartest and most personal derby site out there. I reposted all of our old articles so that you can check them out for yourself. If you do, you’ll learn a little about the evolution of roller derby over the past few [...]

Nov 192011
It's Not You. It's Me.

Dear Roller Derby, I think we need to talk. We’ve both seen this coming for a while, and it’s time we laid it out on the track. Our relationship isn’t working anymore for either of us. It’s just not the same as it used to be. When we first met, I was fascinated by you. Some might say obsessed. I spent hours on the internet trying to find out more about you, and still more hours at dark bars expounding on your singular qualities. I wished that I could go to practice every day so that I could spend every minute with you. I wrote my master’s thesis about you. I didn’t even care if you liked me back, I just wanted to be close to you. And it wasn’t just you, either. You had all these great friends, too. Cool chicks with PhDs or [...]

Nov 182011
I Came In Here For the Special Offer

I’m all lost in the supermarket, I can no longer shop happily. I came in here for that special offer, A guaranteed personality. -”Lost in the Supermarket,” The Clash, 1979 I came into derby as a total interloper. I didn’t want to skate and I didn’t want to play, I just wanted to write about the women who skated and played. How things change. Two years later and I barely remember a time before Red Stick. Still, on the days when I’ve hit the wall where my skills and stamina end, I always end up here at the keyboard. My master’s thesis was about roller derby. As a newcomer, I saw derby as a place where socioeconomic boundaries disappeared and were replaced by neo-feminist camaraderie. I saw it as a subculture in which women weren’t simply added up as parts of a sum, but instead were [...]


Status Faux Pax – Social Media and Tact

 Posted by at 12:00 am  Comments Off
Nov 172011
Status Faux Pax - Social Media and Tact

My college boy derby widow came home from school a couple weeks ago to tell me that the University of such and such conducted a study on time wasting. They concluded that Facebook is the biggest time waster. I know what you’re thinking: That study sounds like a waste of time. Admittedly I waste countless hours of my unemployed seclusion tooling around on the interwebs and the Facebook. I update my status when my pet fish does something new, or a stray cat of some new color pattern walks past my window. Most of my posts are asinine and if you read all of them you may be dumber for it later on in life. I love adorable kitten posts and cartoons with ironic or nonsensical content. But don’t we all. Isn’t that what drew us to the face space to begin with? Sure we [...]



 Posted by at 12:00 am  2 Responses »
Nov 162011

First of all, I’d like everyone to know that I’m typing this in Helvetica for the sake of irony. Secondly, let’s talk underwear. Panties, also commonly referred to as chonies, underpants, underroos, unmentionables, and many other things, are the root of many rules in the game of flat track roller derby. In the style of Bill Nye the Science Guy, I’d like to discuss a couple of them. This is how dumb I am, ok? I’m currently working on my WFTDA Level II Officiating certification, so I’ve been reading the rules really heavily these days in preparation for my WFTDA official certification rules test. I came across the passing the star chapter, or 3.5 in the WFTDA rules document, and I read through it then said to myself, “Uh, what?” Side note: I often find myself very confused by the wording in the rules document, [...]