Swede Hurt

Apr 152011
 

Are all Swedish chics this retardedly stylish? I'm expatriating.

Editor’s note: Swede Hurt is a mysterious and illusive creature. She’s the kind of girl that says, “Don’t call me, I’ll call you,” and even if you consider yourself pretty fucking cool, six months later you’ll still be waiting by the phone and pining for her. I am super happy to have her and her adorably idiosyncratic grammar back on LDG. And the captions are mine, not hers. She’s not like that.

Sooo there are lots and lots of things that have happened since I wrote here last, and I guess it will take a couple of posts for you guys to catch up with my life. Since I wrote last I have gone to WFTDA Championships and gotten a bronze medal. I have moved back to Europe. I have become head coach of a Swedish league and of Team Sweden , I have opened a rollerderby store called SwedeVix with a friend. Somewhere in between there I have also been reporting for DNN at the German Championships and Anarchy in the UK, written an article for Five On Five, lead sessions at the European Rollerderby Conference and played a banked track game in LA with Team Legit, and also played in the first ever Swedish bout… yeah…

Hottest couple in roller derby. Hands down, no contest.

I also moved in with my girlfriend Mad Maloony in Malmö, Sweden, Europe… well and if you wish to catch up on all the details there is always my own personal blogg that I have tried to keep updated under Swede Rambles. It started as a fitness blog and turned out to be random reflections on the world of derby. Itwould be  a lie to say that I am completly happy – I miss Gotham – very, very, very much and I think that will also turn into a separate blogg.

Well, this was my short little reintroduction to me – I have had a very busy few months – and life has gotten very different in just a very short time, and I really think it is for the best… more to come really… really soooon…

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Swede is back

 Posted by at 8:00 am  No Responses »
Sep 222010
 

So I have had a looong break from writing here.

It wasn’t really planned, but sometimes life comes in between.

I ended up traveling, meeting a girl in Denmark, coaching Copenhagen, Stockholm and Malmö. It is so inspiring to see all those brand new girls working so hard to become better, and they do get better. First time I went they could barley do a pace line, and now they can do partner pace lines. I am proud of my fellow Scandinavians playing derby and developing.  I went back to Denmark to skate in their pride parade, and it was fun and we skated in a nice little rainbow formation.

I played my first Gotham Allstar games against Boston and Windy City at ECE. It was amazing and I am truly honored to be a part of a team that is so synced and willing to work together, a team that trust each other and have fun when playing.

I went to RollerCon with my girlfriend, met some old friends and made some new, skated some challenge bouts and even got some time to lounge next to the pool. It was good times and it was fun.  I was happy to be able to go to Vegas with my lady and I was happy to see so many women from all over the world seeking to learn how to play derby.

And then again I took off to Portland to play The Hometown Throwdown against Rat City, Rose City and Bay Area. It was really odd and weird to skate against my old team (that would be Rat, for those who don’t know) but at the same time it was really fun. I realized that I really, really miss the West Coast.  But at the same time I love NYC. Too bad you cannot be at two places at the same time…

I have taken a decision to write once or twice every week… because I love derby, and therefor derby is really fun to write about.

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Jun 092010
 

In Portland February 2009

When I started skating I almost only jammed, I was told at boot camp that I would be a jammer and since I barley knew what a jammer was, I googled it and then went with it. I was a very very sucky blocker, but I jammed, I was one of the fastest skaters on Jet City after a year, and I was also quite determined. So I skated, skated, skated and mostly jammed. And I didn’t particularly love it, but I didn’t hate it, it was what I did, I was a jammer, I scored grand slams and I helped my team. At some point the pressure just got to high, I became that jammer that everyone chanted ‘grand slam, grand slam, grand slam’ for, and I buckled under pressure and I started to feel anxiety every time I slid the star over my helmet.

I got picked up by Rat City, and my jamming time started to diminish at the same rate as my blocking got better and better, I enjoyed killing the other jammer. I realized that I was a very effective blocker, and I did good, I got good feedback on blocking, maybe because people saw me as a jammer that suprised them with blocking skills. I was still expected to go out and jam, and score, score, score when I did, no matter what my pack looked like. I held myself to really high standards, and when i couldn’t live up to them, I avoided jamming even more. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t doing good, I just wasn’t doing as good as I felt I should.

Sockit Wenches vs. Grave Danger 2009

Sockit Wenches vs. Grave Danger 2009

I still enjoyed jamming, but my jammer anxiety was just out of hands, and I felt like I was needed more as a blocker. And about the same time as my second home-season came to an end and I was committed to the travel team fulltime, I was never really jamming. The travel team  never practiced me jamming and I never stood up voluntarily to jam, I had turned into a blocker over the course of three months.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do love jamming, I think it is fun, and I have slowly been trying to get back into it. My current team needs me to jam, and I do it, because I have to. But I still stand on the line questioning myself, always being nervous that I will not live up to expectations. Nowadays I am in many times more effective as a blocker, I am a jammer-killer, I have awareness on the floor and can help my more rookie skaters more on the floor than with a star on my head. I can try to make out jammer look great but I have to work on my offensive blocking, I am not a whipper, but then the question is, am I a jammer??
I can score, I can pass, I do get lead jammer at times, I still hesitate to jam, and only I am the person that can remove the mental block I have for jamming… and I am working on it… but it is hard when you line up against Bonnie Thunders or Suzy Hotrod with Beyonslay or Donna Matrix in the pack, just waiting to kill, kill, kill you…

Isn’t derby just great so say!?

And I have already started my plan on how to get into better jammer shape… please follow and give me happy feed-back!

Swede Hurt Goes Fit blogspot dot com

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Dress for success…

 Posted by at 10:29 am  1 Response »
May 222010
 

I have a new uniform, it is orange, it is waaaay short, and I always forget that I am way tall… I thought my Camaro Harem Uniform was short… Nope, this, my friends are the shortest uniform I have ever worn, but then I can’t say that I care that much.

Vagine Regime boutfit at ECE 2009 (Photo by Jules Doyle)

I sort of fuss a little about my boutfit, but when it comes down to it, a pair of hotpants, shiny or not will cut it. I care about if I can skate in it or not. For Rat City’s All-stars I would just wear black skorts. But I have also worn a strapless dress as a Glamazon, a pair of panties with a bloody unicorn for Rain of Terror (Rat City’s B-team) and VR. I have been skating with an 80’s prom dress with Jet City and totally been sporting a tutu for both Jet City and Team Legit. For team Legit it only lasted 4 jams, and then the officials asked me to take it off, my jammer was apparently a little too grabby. But hey, I got to lay on the floor and get undressed on the pivot line by my line-up runner. So Sheeza Brickhouse can from now and on always say she has ripped my clothes off.

Black and white scrimmage... what up

For all of us we have something that we find special and important about our boutfits, some girls will never wear fishnets, some girls will always wear something that is written on their ass. I always (almost always) wear different socks. This has made the Mayhem (my current team) uniform a problem, since American Apparel doesn’t carry orange socks… and I can only skate in AA socks. I know, it is weird, but I guess I am a hipster or something… and gosh, now when laying in bed at my house I start to wonder, what the f**k am I going to wear UNDER my uniform. Hotpant? Something frilly? Black? Orange? White? Anything? Ugh!

Well, I guess I will figure that out after my hash brown brunch and manicure, I always get manicures to get my fingers team appropriate on game day… yepp… that’s me! My nails will look better than Suzy Hotrods… MOHAHAHahahaha Queens of pain, I will bring the pain…

What? This is NOT the prom??

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May 152010
 

Psycobabble at Western Regionals (photo by Jules Doyle)

I love derby so much, I love to skate, I love to hit, stop, go, run, jam, block… the whole package. I also love the women that play derby, but there are a couple of skaters where their skating, their awareness on the track and sometimes off the track just have captivated my heart and I have formed a derby crush on them. A desire to get to know them better, to skate with them, to just be someone that they want to skate with.

So I have had a few, I think my first real derby crush was on Summer Assault, I saw her play in a Rat City game and I thought she was just incredible, so at RollerCon that summer I walked up to her and told her she was amazing and that I had a derby crush on her. We ended up becoming real good friends, and I have learned a lot from her. I will unwillingly admit that my second derby crush probably was Ann R. Kissed, the woman is insane, both on and off the track, playing with and against her also taught me a lot, and I love the girl, even if she might be a little crazy. But who am I to judge crazy?? So time after time I had some mini derby crushes, Demanda Riot, Malice with Chains, Miss Fortune, Trish the Dish, Jackie Daniels, Castro and so on… yeah…

At Battle of the Bank I met Krissy Krash, and it was love first sight, and we are still heavily involved in our derby crush, I adore to skate with her, I love to skate against her, I just love to derby with her, but I have to be honest I also have a huge derby crush on Blood Clottia, I think there is something about her shy smile and awesome moves on the track. Just the way she blocks or her agility, it is very intriguing. She might also think I am insane… she might be right…

Summer jamming against Bravo, Sockit Wenches vs. DLF, Key Arena 2009 (photo by Jules Doyle)

But for all you who know me, you all know that my current and greatest derby crush is on Psychobabble from Rocky mountain, her sister is awesome and amazing in all ways, but when Psycho is on the track, I just can’t stop staring in awe at her. She is just so fantastic, I know, I know, she is just human, she paints her face like the Joker, but still, I just am in love, my crush is very serious. She skates like a maniac; she is so crazy, yet refined and precise. Her eyes twinkles when she skates and still they have a determination ‘KILL THAT JAMMER’. I probably could go on and on about how she just hit the toe stops on the right time, how she taunts the jammer, how she moves on the track like her skates were magic, but I think I probably just would start to sound silly and maybe a little stalkerish. Oh, and I just realized the other day when I was practicing that I might have a derby crush on Suzy Hotrod, but damn that girl is funny!

So who is your derby crush?

Wile and Ann R. Kissed playing Windy City (photo by Jules Doyle)

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