May 262010

If you don't participate, Michael Douglas will give you the dead-eyed stare of laserdeathDOOM

This post is not about Michael Douglas. It is EVEN MORE AWESOME. For today is the day we kick off the second Project (Derby) Mayhem assignment, skate monkeys. Your assignment? FALLING DOWN

Hopefully you all made it through Assignment 1 (don’t worry if you missed out or didn’t quite make it–you can always try it again on your own). I personally got off to a slow start on that one, but once I began forcing myself to make some time I realized it was something that was perfectly doable. However, while skating it up I ALSO realized that there are a few moves that I am less than awesome at. I know I was less than awesome at them, because every time I attempted to do them, I was shaky or I fell down. And some of those moves were not exactly advanced.

This basically sums up my feelings about falling

I HATE falling down (unless it is during falling drills, which are, to borrow a word from TracDC, rad), and I hate being less than awesome. And I know I’m a good skater! So why was I so weak on these few moves? It’s because I have never practiced them enough. I think sometimes we all have a tendency to focus on the things that we’re already good at, and just work on them. It’s fun to work on the things that you’re good at! And there’s nothing wrong with working on them, those skills need to be kept sharp, too. But if we’re working on them exclusively, that means that we are neglecting the things that feel awkward, or that we just plain suck at. And that, my friends, is not going to make us the best skaters we can be.

So let’s rectify that. Awesomeness awaits!

Assignment 2

We already know that we can make time in our schedules for a little extra derby. This week, we’re going to take that time and spend it on things that make us fall down. I’d like for us all to log 2-3 hours working on this, outside of regular practice. The time can be broken up however you see fit.

I want to make something perfectly clear. I am NOT telling you to go out and injure yourself. I’m asking you to go out and work on the things that you’re just not so great at (yet) or that are just slightly beyond your skill level (right now). You need to wear your full gear, and you need to practice safely and smartly.

For my part, I’m going to be working on the following: Backwards skating (right now I’m like an awkward Frankenstein when I try to do this), 180 jumps (I apparently can only do them at Leo’s), transitions (I can only do them one way, and they’re not very controlled), and I’m going to try to start learning how to tomahawk while leading with my left foot (I can tomahawk GREAT with my right, but I’d like to be able to use either foot). That’s just my list, though. You should be working on what specifically trips you up.

So sign up in the comments section and keep us posted! We have until next Wednesday to knock this out. If enough people indicate that they are participating, I will put up a post around the midpoint and we can discuss our progress (otherwise, fee free to leave updates in the comment section of this post). Get to it, skate monkeys!

If Kitty Pryde can fall with style, so can we!

Heidi Volatile is blammer. Heidi Volatile’s ass is a little concerned about this assignment. Michael Douglas is an old dude who happened to star in the movie Falling Down, making it impossible for Heidi to NOT use his picture in this post. And Kitty Pryde is one of the most awesome comic book characters EVER, and she wants you to sign up for this assignment NOW. You can reach Heidi, Heidi’s ass, Michael Douglas, and Kitty Pryde at


  6 Responses to “Falling Down: Project (Derby) Mayhem, Assignment 2”

  1. Falling Down is one of my favorite movies! :D

  2. I also need to work on 180 jumps and transitions on my weak side; I tend to stick to the comfortable side and I never try the opposite. I’d like to learn how to backwards skate like Summer Squasher & Andi Soccabitch. And I guess I could practice cross-overs going clockwise b/c I’ve still never quite masterd that. I predict a lot of falling in my future ;)

  3. I need to work on the blocker position-especially since my ankle isn’t fully back from the injury. Before I broke my ankle, I always jammed. I want to look at my restriction as an opportunity and develop my skills to become a blammer like Heidi!

  4. I love challenges! Today i finally bit the bullet and decided to learn how to toe jam. 3 hours later i got it on lock…its ugly as sin but its a start….I need it to look fluid.

    For me, i’m working on perfecting side skating left and right sides with acceleration and not being afraid to head into it fast. When i get this down my ultimate goal is a power slide. <dope! i also want to get SERIOUS jump height. I'm talking knees to boobies at high speed. i also feel i am not pushing my speed enough going into corners (slide outs here i come)

    I consider injury a vacation from work…and a chance to get pain pills legally.<WIN
    Its weird, seems like once you stop caring about biting it you seem to do it a whole lot less.

  5. Great goals, ladies! Summer: Working on your blocking will give you a whole new way of looking at jamming–it’s super helpful. Sarah: Great way to look at it. :) I’ve noticed that the less I hesitate, the less I fall, too. Hey, if you’re still working on toe stop running, here’s something that helped me a lot: Put on your skates and toe stop walk around your house. Or just pace back and forth in your living room when you’re watching TV. It gets it into your physical memory and let’s you fine tune your form.

    For my part, backwards skating has improved, but it’s time to focus a bit more on the rest. So today (and tomorrow morning) I will be spending my non-working hours finding a shady spot to bust my butt.

  6. Oh! I am so glad you wrote this! for 2 reasons, 1 it goes great with my derby school article about goal setting and 2 Cuz for the fitness peice of the Hotter In Your Hotpants CHallenge, we are doing pushups daily. I started yesterday and…oh snap…I cant to effing boy pushups. Yeah, not even one legit awesome one. So I will be doing 3 sets of five every day this week!
    I am also working on this transition block that makes me a slippery-er jammer… its risky to do cuz if they see it doming, POW shoulder to the sternum, hello infield! But if I’m not krashing, i’m not getting better right.


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