May 192010

Get it? Because Battleship is interactive? My geekiness knows no bounds, y'all

Shit’s about to get REAL, y’all.


Roughly five million years (re: two weeks) ago, I posted about the importance of setting overall fitness goals (and there was some nice discussion about personal goals in the comment section). Before that I posted about maintaining focus (even when life goes to crap) and setting physical goals to use as benchmarks.

Today we’re doing something a little bit different. You and me, kid, we’re kicking off Project (Derby) Mayhem.

Let's face it, there will probably still be a lot of talking

Anyone who’s known me for more than two minutes knows that I really love to talk. A lot. But goals are about action, and as your go-to Goal Girl, I have been itching to stop talking and start doing. And to drag you along with me. And that’s where Project (Derby) Mayhem comes in. From now on, there will be assignments. I’m going to be doing every Project (Derby) Mayhem assignment along with you, so I won’t be asking you to do anything that I’m not doing myself. The general idea is that (in addition to inching closer to world domination) we will be able to push each other to set and follow weekly goals, see results, and do that general derby-girls-are awesome support thing. Sounds good, no? Those who partake (re: me and you and other totally awesome people) will lead the way in the Derby Death Army. Those who don’t will be crushed beneath our wheels. They will be forced to breathe in the fumes from our skate bags as we hip check our way to glory. So let’s get started:

The first rule of Project (Derby) Mayhem...

Assignment 1

Since this is our first assignment, we’re going to start small-ish (assignments will get more detailed/difficult/what-have-you as we progress). We’re going outdoor skating! Three times. For an hour each (note: that’s an hour skating, changing your wheels/putting on your pads does not count as skate time). You’ve got between today (May 19th) and next Wednesday to pencil this in. I want you to spend about ten minutes warming up, then split your time between lateral cutting, sticky skating, speed drills, getting low, and running on your skates. Drink plenty of water, and if you start to get too worn out slow up a bit until you recover (but maintain good derby form).*

*If you already do this–or more than this–on a regular basis, please keep to your routine but spice it up a little. Increase the difficulty, the amount of time spent skating, or throw in a few things that you know you need to work on. Also, if you have no other choice you can complete this assignment indoors, but try to skate outside if you can.

Time IS on your side. Really.

The important part of this assignment (and one of the harder parts) is making the extra time to go skate. For my part, I’m either going to be waking up an hour earlier, going to bed an hour later, or skipping a little TV time. Don’t let your schedule keep you from participating! You only have to skate for 3 out of 168 hours, which is totally doable. I promise.

I’m going to use the comment section to check in throughout the week, and I encourage you to do the same. In fact, why not go ahead and declare your allegiance to Project (Derby) Mayhem right now? Like I’ve said before, there’s nothing like internet accountability, and that comment section sure does look lonely without your post…

Tyler Durden will blow up your living space if you don't participate in Project (Derby) Mayhem. And he'll probably pee in the soup.

Heidi Volatile is a loudmouth and is probably going to regret this whole Project (Derby) Mayhem thing when she has to get up at 5:00am tomorrow. She knows that you’re reading this and is looking pointedly at the comment section and clearing her throat. Tyler Durden is a Very Bad Man with a few… issues, but he’s a) really hot, b) a total badass, and c) would definitely play roller derby if he were a girl. You can reach both of them at if you want to suggest future Project (Derby) Mayhem assignments or tell them that their hair is awesome (it totally is).

Photo Credits: Milton Bradley, 20th Century Fox, Mission Fit Possible


  9 Responses to “Project (Derby) Mayhem: Assignment 1”

  1. Heidi, post when you’re going so I can see if I’m able to join you. I have been wanting to try to outdoor skate again now that I have a dedicated pair of outdoor skates ready to go!

  2. PS I totally think of you when I see that puppy pic!!! You couldn’t have picked a more appropriate photo! ahhahaaha! xo

  3. i don’t think that was pee. and count me in for the death army ;)

  4. You can always motivate me with shirtless “Tyler Durden” pics. Since Heidi has already gotten me hooked on Denver Benton’s Bootcamp at 6am (unthinkable) then I think I can squeeze in some outdoor skates somewhere into a 70 hour work week. Heidi and I have been skating between 7-8 am on Mondays at Magnolia Woods elementary. If anyone would care to join us, feel free. I know 7 am on a Monday is ludacrous but it beats the heat and my neighborhood is so smooth! It is also a good way to get that hour in and you feel great the rest of the day. Fo shizzle.

  5. i am committing to this, a little. sometimes my naps carry me away to future times i did not anticipate thus limiting the amount of daylight hrs my eyes see. but if i see a lot daylight, ill try and skate in some of it.

  6. Well, I’ve got one outdoor skate down, and two more to go.

    Vi: Like RC said, we’re skating Monday morning at 7:00am, but I know that you have work. I think we both get off at about the same time, though–would you like to go skating on Tuesday after 2:00?

    How is everyone else doing? The whole southern-Louisiana-mug-factor has been making me procrastinate a little, but I’m kicking it into gear now.

  7. Skate #2 is down, and I am so sweatlogged that I am actually wringing out my shirt as I type this. GROSS! It was a great skate, though. Hope everyone else is doing well!

  8. Not sure I’m up for world domination just yet, but I have completed my first plank assignment and feel like a better person already.

  9. Good job, Miss Ella! You’re totally gonna best those pesky planks :)

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